I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
