sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize