two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
