But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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