3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
