Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
