I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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