just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
he puts the penis in happiness.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize