YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
