don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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