So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
