I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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