She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Randomize
