i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize