Please, let me fuck your mom
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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