your room smells of hookers.
And success
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
