Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Randomize
