we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
We talked him into tasing himself.
So squirting runs in the family.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
