dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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