You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize