whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
did i walk over a car last night?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
