she is the kim kardashian of front butts
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
