My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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