Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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