break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
