I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Randomize
