i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize