Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
