I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Randomize
