Ambien. No doubt about it.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
