Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
This toilet bowl is my home.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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