the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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