i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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