Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
