in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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