i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
