Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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