OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
