everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
