well you can't waste a boner
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
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