I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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