You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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