mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
