Nicole vs. Life
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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