Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
