Having a random hookup so left but love u
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
