I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
