I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
its not stalking. its research.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
