I swear god or herbie drove my car home
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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