I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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