just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
