There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
he thought i was a dude.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
