It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Found the puke drawer
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
