New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
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