The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
