Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
it's great music for shaving your balls
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
