If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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