Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
