She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
