So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
