You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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