OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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