He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
