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ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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